Women's tennis is boring. The leading players are boring as personalities, they play in a boring style and it is ridiculous that the world's top-ranked woman has never won a Grand Slam title. Until now that has been the view of many critics, but they may think again after Caroline Wozniacki's hilarious post-match press conference here at the Australian Open yesterday.
The world No 1 – who, yes, has never won a Grand Slam tournament – has sometimes contributed to that negative image with her own one-paced answers to questions, but she turned the tables on her interrogators after her 6-4, 6-3 third-round victory over Dominika Cibulkova.
Wozniacki told the assembled media that they got the same boring answers because they always asked the same boring questions. At almost every press conference this year the 20-year-old Dane has been asked not only about her matches but also, for example, about whether she deserves to be world No 1 and whether she was sensible to change her racket just before a Grand Slam event.
"I know what you're going to ask me already," she said. "So I'm just going to start with the answers."
Wozniacki proceeded to deliver a monologue in which she answered every question she expected to be asked. "I felt great out there today on the court... I think I played a pretty good match... I'm happy to be through to the next round... What do I need to do to win this tournament?... If I played too defensively today, I actually feel like I had to do that...
"Do I deserve to be No 1? Maybe this was more proof that I belong there. Again, I don't feel any pressure being No 1. I really enjoy myself. I think I've had a great year and a great tournament so far... My racket feels really good. I feel like the racket is really helping me out... I'm just happy to be here."
Wozniacki concluded: "Now maybe you can ask me some questions that are a little bit more interesting, a little bit different to what I usually get."
Whereupon the Dane answered questions on a range of topics. As a Liverpool fan, what did she think about Kenny Dalglish's return as manager? "I'm hoping that will give some positive energy to the lads. I'm hoping things will turn and they'll start winning more matches. It's tough to be a supporter and see them having a hard time. But it's a sport, and I'm sure it will turn sooner or later."
How can we solve global warming? "I'm flying quite a bit, so that doesn't help. Go green. Make cars that don't use so much gas. Make them electric. That would already help. Use buses, trains, instead of taking the car. Just a few things. When you take a shower, don't stay there for half an hour. Two minutes is enough – even for girls."
When did she plan to marry and how many children would she have? "First I have to find a guy."
What does she expect in a man? "Honesty. Understanding what I'm doing."
You're not going to find that in this room, she was told. "Sometimes the media are too good-looking here, so I can't really focus on what I'm supposed to say," she replied, turning on the charm.